Thursday, March 5, 2009

Patience

There are many things that I want that I don’t have. Some of the things I want are goals that I’ve been working toward but can’t seem to achieve. Some things are material and aren’t really that important. Some things are beyond my control and better not to wish for at all.

I have a hard time accepting that I can’t always make things happen. That hard work doesn’t always result in getting want you want. I take disappointment hard. I often get defeated.

I worried about how that would affect me as a mother. Mothers should have patience; infinite reservoirs of patience that would allow them to parent without damaging their child with the burden of expectations.

Having a dog is not the same as having a child. I am not one of those dog owners. It has, however, helped me work on some of the attributes that I believe make a good parent. I like to teach Finn things. Being an Australian Shepherd, he likes to learn, it provides him with the mental stimulation that he needs to tire himself out.

Finn is stubborn though, much like I am. He likes to do things on his time schedule, which means that for two days straight he’ll act like he doesn’t understand the concept of shake and on the third morning he offers you his paw like he was born knowing how.


During our training sessions, I watch him for signs of frustration or boredom. I’m beginning to learn when to push a little more and when to reward him for something he already knows how to do and send him on his way. When testing him on a new command without offering a treat, I watch his muscles react. His muscles betray his thoughts. They give away his secret desire to perform the command.

I’ve learned to be patient and steady, repeating the command until he performs or has reached his limit of patience. It’s not that I don’t want to push or yell at him OHMYGODJUSTROLLOVERALREADY because I do. I really, really do sometimes. But I understand that it doesn’t really help anything. It doesn’t get us to where we want to be.

I’m not sure if I’m so far along that I can apply these lessons to human interactions, but it’s a step and I’m giving myself credit for that. If I can forgive Finn for not mastering “roll over” in the time that I have arbitrarily deemed necessary to learn it, maybe I can forgive myself for all of the things I have yet to accomplish.

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