Mother's Approval

I am my mother’s only daughter.

When my mom and I are at a mall, she will point to a stroller and tell me, that’s the kind you should get. When we are at Home Goods, she runs her fingers along the railings of beautifully ornate cribs and says, I’m going to put aside money so I can buy this for you. Once, at Costco, she held up a onesie with turtles parading across the front and asked me to divine whether I would have a spring baby or a winter baby.

She isn’t pressuring me to have kids, which is good because after five plus years, Ryan and I aren’t even married yet. She’s simply daydreaming about the day that her daughter has a child and all of the advice and clothes and baby paraphernalia that she’s been holding back will come crashing forward.

“It’s different when your daughter has a child,” she tells me after visiting my brother’s twin daughters. “When you have your baby, I won’t hold back.”

I remember thinking, awesome, more incentive not to have kids anytime soon. I envisioned always getting unwanted advice and always being worried that I was doing the wrong things.

My parents came to visit this weekend. It was only their second time meeting Finn and it went really well. He was, as always, his cute, sweet, charming self. My mom, who seemed reserved the first time she met Finn, really seemed to enjoy being around him.

Over the course of the weekend, Mom kept commenting on how smart Finn was and how pretty he was and how well behaved he was. And every time she marveled at how well he preformed tricks or how well he listened to us it gave me a little jolt of pride. My mom was telling me that I was doing a good job at raising our puppy and she was doing so freely.

I’m not sure why it surprised me. Maybe because she’s been so adamant about how critical she would be of how I would raise a child or maybe because Finn is my first dog and I’m a little insecure about how I’m doing with it. Either way, it made me realize that I had my mom figured out wrong.

I’m sure that when it comes time, she will be the first to tell me that I need to hold my baby’s neck more or that I should dress the baby warmer in the winter but she will also be the first to tell me that I’m doing a good job. She will tell me how sweet my child is and how smart my child is.